A Drive By Blocking

By Kyla Phoenix Silverthorne

Before I begin writing on this subject I would like to acknowledge all of the wonderful loving people that I have met through various social media platforms by saying thank you for all of the healing thoughts and loving encouragement that you have given me over the last few years. I would also like you to know that what I am about to write is not about you in anyway. It is about those people on Facebook or other social media sites that choose to use these platforms to be abusive to people in one form or another. With that said let’s continue…

What is “A Drive By Blocking” you ask? Well it’s a phrase that I plan on coining and it basically means an interaction with a person who emotionally vomits some verbally abusive comments on your Facebook page or group or other social media platforms and then immediately proceeds to block you afterwards, so that you cannot respond to them. I view this tactic as a verbally abusive behavior, which is exhibited from people that I have found to be extremely emotionally and mentally disturbed. I’ve had this occur a few times in the past, but with the latest occurrence I decided that I was going to write something about it to share my thoughts with everyone.

With the incident that just occurred with me the other day I had a person make abusive and slanderous comments to something that I had posted. I would like to state for the record that I welcome any of my FB friends to have a rational, respectful and intelligent conversation about one of my posting with me. But, and it’s a big “BUT” if you choose to not be rational, respectful or intelligent in your response to one of my postings then expect to earn a place on my “BLOCK” list. Also my Facebook friends list is a door that opens both ways and if you don’t like my opinions or the way I express them you’re free to use that door to leave at any time, after all no one is forcing you stay. Again just a reminder to the new people on my Facebook friends list that I have a zero tolerance policy when it comes to abusive behaviors of any kind, which I have a tendency to state consistently as a reminder especially after an abusive incident.

Also I want to notify everyone that I prefer to have long and involved conversations with people on instant messages rather than on the comments section of postings. While I do not have instant messenger installed on my phone I can access it on my laptop. Typically I do not interact through instant messenger, but I will under certain circumstances. If you wish this type of interaction then you can request one in the comment section of which ever posting you would like to discuss. If I think that the conversation will be beneficial and if I have the time and the inclination to discuss it then I will let you know, but be prepared that I might not get back to you right away due to how busy I am typically. Also be aware that I get hundreds interaction requests through instant messenger on a regular basis, so it can take me some time to get through them, which is part of the reason I don’t like consistently using it, because it could easily become a full-time job if I wanted it to be and I don’t. With all of that said I would like to discuss more about my experience with this person the other day.

So, the question is, “How do I define this person’s reaction as abusive?” This comment involved a good deal of name-calling, false presumptions, an attempt to shame me, they also called me a liar in public with an attempt at slandering my reputation, and of course they blocking me and by doing so did not allow me the opportunity to defend my position. Just so everyone knows usually when an individual chooses to not allow someone to defend their position this is a big red flag that should show anyone reading it that the person’s position is not nearly as strong as they claim or believe. This is why I wish to coin the phrase for this behavior as “A Drive By Blocking” because just like a drive-by shooting it is an act committed by a petty small little coward that doesn’t have the integrity required to look a person in the face when they choose to act. What they choose to do is act like some grubby little sneak thief that gets behind your back and slips a knife into it and then runs away before you ever have a chance to defend yourself.

I would also like to add that I have actually met this individual in person that committed this act of abuse against me and I wish to discuss that interaction now. They currently run a small and relatively unknown CSA farm (community supported agriculture) in the state that I live in. At the beginning of last winter this person asked people around the community if anyone would take in their chickens, and the reason for this was because the person did not properly prepare a space to winter over these chickens. I was one of the people that saw this notice that they posted and I was one of the only people who responded and that decided to take them in. The day I got these chickens I ended up getting one less than they had promised because one of these poor animals was allowed to freeze to death in their unheated garage. Once I saw these birds I immediately knew based on my extensive experience with chickens that the birds had been very severely abused. They came to me underweight and somewhat stunted in growth for their age most likely due to lack of food and they also had head colds from having been allowed to sit in a garage in tiny containers till they almost froze to death.

Now if anybody out there knows me at all then they know that I love and adore chickens and I know how they should be kept and treated. Because of my extensive experience I will also state this as a fact that these animals were terribly abused through neglect by this person. Once I understood this I was glad to take them in because to be quite frank I was the only reason they were going to survive. That is of course excluding the poor chicken that unfortunately was allowed to freeze to death in the garage by this incompetent owner. The reality of this makes me absolutely furious because of the fact that it was completely preventable, even now the truth that one died because it was abused to death still makes me terribly sad. The truth is that anyone who ever treat animals in this abusive manner is a person to not be trusted!!! From the first moment that I looked at those poor pathetic birds I instantly realized what kind of person I was actually dealing with, so I only agreed to take the birds if the arrangement was permanent. Only by this understanding could I save their lives so I could guarantee those sweet birds that they would be abused again.

After this interaction I decided that I would keep this person at a very far arms length, but still would allow them to be on my Facebook friends list just in case I had to rescue any more abused chickens. The reality is that the abuse of these animals was criminal in nature and part of me wished to call and report it, but I unfortunately realized the odds of anyone actually doing anything about it in all reality is very low, so I let it go. Looking back on my choices on how I handled this person the only thing I wished I would have changed was to not have allowed this person to remain on my FB friends list and that I should have blocked them instead. To make all this worse they actually had the nerve to approach me the next spring to request the chickens back even though we agree that if I took them it was permanently. Of course I refuse their request because no animal deserves to go back to where they almost died to be tortured some more by their abuser.

The point of me telling the story is to point out that there are often several red flags when it comes to dealing with extremely disturbed individuals and animal abuse is definitely one of them. I have also heard through various people online as well as people in my community that this person often has massive angry outbursts and consistently acts in an inappropriate manner towards others. This also explains why hardly anyone ever makes a comment or likes anything on their personal FB page and why almost nobody shows any interest in their CSA FB business page as well. From what I can tell they come off to most people as extremely negative and abusive with their behaviors, which has a tendency to really turn people away from wanting to participate in this persons projects.

With all of this said I would just like to say that I have had enough of this abusive behavior! When I first read through the comment they posted to me it was obvious at one point that this person was being motivated by multiple factors, such as being triggered from past traumas, and they also showed signs that they envied and or resented the popularity that I have and that they don’t have. While I do have compassion for people’s past traumas and for them being triggered by things that I may say… I would like to go on the record and say that just because you’re triggered from your traumas doesn’t give you an excuse to behave badly or abusively.

Also, I live with many traumas so I do understand the concept of being triggered, but I also accept that I and no one else am responsible for my reactions. One lesson I have learned after this experience is to keep reinforcing my boundaries by stating this – “You don’t have to agree with me or even like me or what I say, but you will show me the proper respect or I will show you the door.” I also have learned to make sure I let people that have been good to me know just how much I appreciate them. So, I am going to re-state again for all the people on my Facebook as well as other social media platforms that are my friends, which have been nothing but kind and loving and supportive that I thank you from the bottom of my heart, and I truly appreciate you! It is also my wish to tell you that it has been your loving and compassionate ways that have helped keep me going after various abusive abusive attacks.

For anyone else who is contemplating disrespecting or abusing me my suggestion is to think twice or maybe even thrice before you act. Because even though I may look like a soft person that you think you can get away with treating like a doormat… I am here to assure you that your behavior will not be tolerated and will be dealt with swiftly and concisely. After all I’ve dealt with assholes and crazies for a long time now, so do not underestimate my ability to give it back better than what I get it, and that one of my ways of responding to your abusive actions will most likely be to make them the topic of one of my writings as I am doing now.

Lastly here is a little reality check about me for those who need it…

I am not lamb to be slaughtered by someone’s ego laden bullshit and craziness!

I am a defender of those who cannot fight for themselves!!

I am a warrior!!!

Now here are my last words to those who try to abuse me or those I care about…

Take my words extremely seriously because you have been officially warned!!!!

For all of those who made it to the end thanks for reading. Until next time remember to fight back against this kind of abuse and all the other kinds and please try to stay safe while doing it.