The Price of My Smile

Lately with the dental work that I’ve gotten and all the dental work I need to get I’ve asked myself a very important question, “What is the price of my smile?” To be quite forthright for as long as I can remember I have experienced oral pain with my teeth and gums. This is due to the fact that I was horribly neglected as a child and developed what is commonly called crib mouth that then later infected my permanent teeth. Crib mouth happens when a baby is allowed to sleep with a bottle in their mouth or constantly has the fluid against the teeth, which can have an acidic reaction and can cause the teeth to develop cavities quickly.

As a very young child I was often put into a crib or playpen and given a bottle rather than being allowed to free roam. I was also drugged from a very young age by my guardian into a sleeping state. By the time I was in the fourth grade my teeth had become very bad that I quit smiling at school and my teachers noticed. Then one day I get called to the office and both the principal and my teacher requested to see my mouth and I refused. Due to the fact that I thought I was going to get in trouble for the state in which my teeth were in. What I didn’t realize at that point is no amount of brushing would’ve helped prevent what had started when I was very young. The only way to fix the situation was with proper dental care and repair and brushing.

When I finally showed my teeth to them the principal was flabbergasted with shock and the school teacher muffle the cry with her hand. I remember the looks and their eyes being wide and the teacher needing to turn away and sob. After a few moments the principal asked me to close my mouth and sit down and when I did he pick up the phone. After that I heard a conversation between the man and my guardian in which he threatened her with child protective services if she didn’t get this situation fixed immediately. After that he informed her to not return me to school until it was done and that she had one week to get it fixed or he would report her.

After that I waited there to be picked up and the next day I went to the dentist for the first time in my entire life. That week every single day I went to the dentist and for me it was like being tortured. Later that year I broke a molar and had to get a root canal and a crown, which is what I got pulled out a while back do to re-infection. Since that one fateful week I have spent countless hours being tortured by dentists to maintain the vast amount of fillings that have accumulated since then in my mouth. I’ve had multiple dentists do things incorrectly and make it worse and I’ve had dentists install fillings made out of toxic substances that had to be replaced later.

Once I had a dentist ask me if I suffered from malnourishment as a child and I said yes. He went on to tell me that my calcium deposits were very poor and that this could be due to malnourishment as a child or not receiving the correct nutrients in the womb or that it could be genetic and at the time I didn’t really know what that meant. Essentially the quality of my teeth is a blend of nature and nurture and most definitely a lack of nurture. I have suffered for a very long time with everything going on in my mouth. Over the years I’ve spent probably tens of thousands of dollars and I probably could’ve bought a very nice car with all that money.

My goal over the next couple of years is to try to replace 10 of my teeth with crowns and get the rest repaired so that I no longer have to put so much effort into my teeth. I’ve literally had my fillings reconstructed four different times and now I’m currently on the fifth time. I have to reconstruct them this time so that they last until I get the crowns to replace them so I don’t lose too much tooth matter, which would make it difficult for me to get crowns. The teeth that are not good candidates for crowns will have to be replaced with implants which is very expensive. Right now I’m waiting for an approval through my insurance to get a full mouth scaling and debridement as well.

Currently there is a six month wait for this procedure to just get an appointment and it will take 3 to 6 months for me to get my approval. I need to have this procedure done so that my roots and gums are strong enough and healthy enough to handle crowns. Then once it is done and I am healed up I will have to schedule a cleaning with the clinic that I’m going to get the crowns done at and I will wait another six months for that cleaning then after that cleaning I will wait another six months for my initial consultation for crowns and then I will wait another six months before it gets started. What my plan is… is that I’m not going to wait for my debridement to be done before I schedule an appointment with this clinic I will schedule it once it gets approved to try to cut out six months.

I may just decide to pay cash for the cleaning at the new clinic in order to get it scheduled earlier. Because of my insurance type people put my appointment wait time out further then a cash paying customer or a person with better insurance. As it stands right now I have tooth and gum pain every single day and I have had this problem for long enough. Call the teeth in my mouth ache and are sensitive to hot and cold, which makes eating and drinking painful. If I could win the lottery tomorrow I would have every single tooth pulled out of my mouth and have them replaced with implants so that I would never have to go to a dentist again. When I look in the mirror and I smile or I eat or drink I feel the pain from my fillings and I am reminded of my childhood abuse and neglect.

I have come to realize that this problem needs to be solved so that I no longer have to feel like this. It is a pain so severe sometimes that it has brought on depressions and most definitely has increased my anxiety. My goal is to solve this problem over the next couple of years and to be done with it once and for all. Please say a prayers for me that I can accomplish my goals in regards to the situation. Thank you.