OK, so I live in a little town in the middle of nowhere in northern Wisconsin, USA. I like everyone else have literally heard all the toilet paper jokes on Facebook and everywhere else. I was of the opinion that because I did not live in a big city or near one that this epidemic of toilet paper hoarding would not at least hit me at the moment. But, after my little shopping trip today I must acknowledge that I was completely fucking wrong!
Also just for the record it’s not just the toilet paper people are taking everything of it is what I have called the staples such as sugar, flour, rice, beans, fever controlling medicines and cold medicines, ramen noodles, canned vegetables, rubber gloves, hydrogen peroxide, medical alcohol, drinking alcohol, bleach, cleaning supplies, hand sanitizer of course, paper towels, paper products of all kinds. But, what is making me really mad because I have a two-year-old child still in diapers is them taking the fucking baby wipes!!! I want to let people know that if you take the baby wipes from mothers who need them to wipe your ass then it will cause mothers to become afraid and they will start hoarding diapers. If this happens then mothers everywhere will have to go back to the old-school way of doing things and if we have to do that I’m just gonna tell you from my experience you’re going to have one fucking angry army of mothers coming to get you!!!
Once I realized people were taking the baby wet wipes to wipe their asses with I decided that I was going to use white rags sanitize with a bleach water solution for future cleaning and or personal hygiene as a replacement for toilet paper and wipes. I also went and I bought reusable diapers and rubber pants because the next thing people will take will be taking are the diapers and then the formula, which fortunately I don’t need. I saw one woman throw a fit at a dollar tree today because she could not get some hand sanitizer and right then and there I gave everyone an education about how to make their own hand sanitizing wipes out of old rags sterilized and kept damp with bleach water and put into a Ziploc bag.
Seriously people WTF! I realize that a majority of people in this country have lost all fucking common sense and I’ve known this for a long period of time. I just ignorantly figured that I might have a little bit of time before everyone lost their shit including the people that live in the middle of nowhere. In the State of Wisconsin there are barely any people diagnosed with a virus and yet here I am realizing that it’s going to get fucking pretty crazy real quick. I had one woman asked me at the dollar tree if she could use scented bleach to clean her water for drinking and I told her that that was unnecessary and that most likely the government or the National Guard would keep utilities going and that if they stop that most likely she would be dead long before this ever happened. I also publicly announce that the most dangerous thing in this situation isn’t a virus but how selfish and fucked up people are and what they’ll do to each other the minute they run out a fucking toilet paper!
Just get some old rags or make some out of old fabric and use a 10% to 20% bleach ratio to clean them in. Or use your washing machine and bleach them after all, people this is not rocket science. OMG!!! Calm down and realize that the only truly dangerous thing on this planet are human beings and how stupid and selfish we can quickly become once denied our bullshit creature comforts. Set an example for everyone out there including your family and your children that you are not going to lose your shit and that you’re going to keep it the fuck together! Many generations before us have gone through these things and they’ve managed to do it in a dignified manner and maybe that’s the real lesson to be learned from all of this. Show some goddamn grace under pressure and quit acting like fucking mindless animals and quit fucking freaking out and scaring other people!
OK I’m done now! Mic drop! 🎤
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