Not Sorry

You want me to say I’m sorry, but I’m not

You want me to feel shame for actions that offend and the consequences that they wrought

To say I’m sorry would be a lie and I will not apologize for the fact that I did not die

Such fake apologies can only be said by a child’s lie

I will not lie and say to you, sorry I didn’t die

I took a knife in hand that would not cut out the bitterness that rotted in my gut

From decades of unappreciated toil while caught in a seemingly inescapable rut

You want me to say I’m sorry, but I’m not

A kind and gentle head on my knee and sweetness was my key

He freed the Firebird that was in me and now we dance upon the ignorant gleefully

Our first dance is sacred to me because in that moment I became free

You want me to say I’m sorry, but I’m not

I will not be sorry that I did not die some apologies are just a lie

I will not be made to feel shame and I will not hide my flame

You want me to say I’m sorry, but I’m not

After all only children want to live a beautiful lie

For many decades I did try, but it was something I could not survive

So, I will not apologize for the fact that I did not die and I will not be made to feel sorry that I survived

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