If you are an empath then you know what it is to be a mirror, and if you don’t I hope what I have to say about it will give you some kind of idea. What I have noticed is that the people that are most like me have a tendency to be afraid of me or in other cases highly attracted to me. The fear and or the attraction and how they handle it is obviously their choice. In my experiences I have seen a very wide variety of ways that people choose to handle these very intense emotions.
First I would like to describe what I normally do with people that I am reflected in, which is that I usually see this and comprehend it for what it is. I taught myself long ago to not run away, but to make a choice about whether to stay or go and I usually make this determination based on the person themselves. I can look at a person and see my similarities in them and choose not to react in either a repressed or transference kind of way. What do I mean by this? Well I have seen people react to me with the emotion of fear and then they either choose to repress this or they choose transference most of the time.
To repress it simply means on some level they acknowledge it, but choose not to deal with it at all so they leave. When they use transference they choose to place all of their fears, insecurities and negativities on my doorstep. When a person chooses to do this inevitably I’m the one that gets sacrificed to their ego. What comes after is something that I have seen many times before, which is that I get vilified and blamed for every bullshit problem they ever had or are having. I get it! I’m a mirror or a spotlight and my mir present sometimes without even saying a word makes people realize the elephant in their room.
In the past people have accuse me of some ridiculous things and it would take too long to tell you all of those stories. Needless to say I’ve had people accuse me of hexing them and of stalking them astrally and I even had one person accused me of killing their dog and another try to convince people I was opening up demon portals. Overtime I taught myself to shake my head at these people and simply walk away understanding that the only thing they really know how to be at that moment is a victim. They have probably been a victim so long they don’t know how to be anything else at that moment, so they make me into their predator. Of course this is the furthest thing from the truth and the reason I’m usually drawn to them and them to me is to assist them and possibly myself with healing.
Now for the reaction type that is the most uncomfortable for me… This is when a person is “attracted” to me and this can get expressed in one of two ways. The first and the most pleasant is when a person is attracted to me in a friendship kind of way. This to me is a big green flag that shows me that they are ready to go through healing and transformative changes. In all honesty I love these people, because they’re totally secure with what’s going on in their lives and they are open and willing to accept the compassion and healing that I will bring to the relationship.
The second way usually manifests itself as a physical or sexual attraction to me and I find this one the most uncomfortable and potentially the most dangerous. Due mostly to the fact that people who are attracted to me in this way have a tendency to be very aggressive with me especially physically. I have in the past experienced people stocking me, and in one extreme example I was raped by a person that had this type of reaction to my energy. These people have a tendency to take my compassion, caring and healing nature and twist it up in their minds into something else that it is not. It is because of this chosen reaction by these people that I am super cautious around anyone that I get this vibe from.
The type of empath I am is what’s known as a Heyoka empath. We are one of the most powerful empaths and for most of us we live complicated lives. We are required to learn many skills to survive and thrive in life and to keep our mind, body and spirit in balance. Another major issue facing us is that often times people see in us what they want or truly need in another person even if it’s not really there. Our mirroring affect is extremely strong and for most people they can’t handle our effects on them. I have sat in a room with people and barely spoke and I’ve noticed these effects regardless of my lack of participation. Heyoka’s have an energy that can be addictive for some people especially people with addiction problems. One of my dearest and closest friends described my energy as “crack addictive”, which I found very funny at the time and then later truly understood.
Most of the time I choose to move within small groups of people versus large, because frankly I find it too overwhelming. In my own personal life I preferred to have a very small group of people that I am close to and that I can absolutely trust. It has been extremely difficult for me over the years to make friends, because most people have the negative types of reactions to me. One of the types that make me the angriest that I will admit to you is when I’m vilified by people. It is one of those reactions that I have come to understand and accept the existence of through this quote, “What you choose to believe about me says more about you than it will ever say about me.” I have chosen to accept that those that do this are not ready for what I can give them and that they have a long and difficult road ahead of them before they will be.
If you are an empath my suggestions to you are to learn how to meditate and to shield yourself. There are many different ways to meditate my preferred method is to use sound therapy while I am meditating and performing Reiki upon myself. During this time I clean out all my chakras and I reinforce my shielding and this is something that for some people needs to be done daily. I would also suggest wearing essential oil’s and smudging yourself with sage and or using a singing bowl to cleanse and attune your energies. I also wear different amulets and talismans along with various combinations of stones. There are some stones that I carry tucked in my bra or my pocket that help to further reinforce my shielding.
Over time you will find that you will gain more skills and your empathic abilities will increase and it is important for you to learn how to do these things. Also journaling is extremely helpful and sometimes a very simple burning spells can help as well. A burning spell is simply done by writing negative emotions on a piece of paper and burning them in a cauldron. Also use your skills of observancy or develop some to start noticing that you may be sponging emotional energy from people around you and situations. Do not allow yourself to be controlled by other people’s emotions and thoughts try to differentiate between yourself and them. This will take time and it will require a high level of honesty with yourself, because you must learn to think for yourself and create your own opinions separate from others no matter how close the relationship.
My last suggestions are to get a good group of healers that you can trust and that can offer grounded advice and healing. These healers can be a therapist or psychologist, massage therapist, Reiki practitioners, or people doing other physical or energetic healing art forms. Try to build a very strong and stable support system first and foremost from professionals then secondarily from friends and family. The reason I don’t suggest friends and family first is because of the amount of influence that they can have on us emotionally and mentally and physically. When you’re an empath it is important to look for neutral healers and teaches that aren’t so closely involved in your personal life in order for you to maintain an authentic sense of balance within yourself.
Until next time I hope my advice helps and remember to not forget to go out into nature and enjoy its healing energies. Namaste!
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